Lesson: Why I don't coach employees on attendance.

If my manager focuses on trying to understand/coach/coddle a team member who is chronically late, he or she is not focused on the truly important goals I've established for them. Also, he/she is sacrificing time with team members who are motivated and goal-aligned. Finally, as mentioned above, over time the team will lose respect for the manager who can't address and compartmentalize that issue, and morale dissipates.

Here's an example-

When I was the Director of Montblanc, I was fortunate to have a very capable Sales Manager on my team. She had worked hard to transition our staff from a low performing team which she inherited to a team of high performers who she developed. Ultimately, she did that very successfully, but there were a few bumps along the way.

One of those bumps was a young man who we both agreed was very promising from his resume and his interview. He was a Mandarin speaker and that was a set we badly needed.

We brought him on board and almost from the start, things did not go well.

He was chronically late for our 9:30AM door, typically made worse by him showing up at 10AM when we opened to the public, carrying a hot coffee and a pastry that he was enjoying while his teammates prepared for the day. The team was not happy.

My manager noticed the behavior within the first week but, understandably, thought the problem would correct itself. It didn't. She approached me and gave me her thoughts and asked for my input. I told her that "If you make everything important, then nothing is truly important." I did not elaborate, but rather listened to her optimistic outlook for his behavioral change....that never came.

Over the next few weeks, I observed the behavior continue. I was also able to see how this was negatively impacting the team we were working so hard to build, and how it was taking a toll on my manager as well. I believe she felt defeated- like I was judging her based on this young man's attendance. That was not the case, and I knew I needed to support her and elaborate on my earlier philosophizing with suggestions for action.

As luck would have it, as I was about to ask to meet with her, the chronically late salesperson approached us and asked if he could meet with both of us for a moment. Serendipity.

The three of us went into our private showroom and he proceeded to tell his manager and me that he had a concern. He knew he was constantly late. He stated that he was very surprised that the two of us had not addressed this performance issue, especially because we had so impressed him in his interview as being "very on top of things." My manager looked at me, visibly upset at the gall of this employee to make this statement, coupled with what I assumed to be embarrassment.

I asked the manager if it would be OK to respond, and she smiled at me.

I turned to this young man and said:

"Thank you for being honest with us not only about your performance, but about how our perceived lack of responsiveness makes you feel about our leadership skills. That can't be a comfortable thing to share with us.

You've heard me say before 'If you make everything important, then nothing is truly important'. Here's how that statement applies here.

Your tardiness is not important to you, so it is not important to us. We will not address it, nor coach you. We have built a strong and effective team, that will thrive without you. If you wish to be a part of it, show up to work on time, if you don't, we understand. The only time either one of us will address this issue with you is the day we terminate you. Your management team is focused on real, important goals, not managing your lack of self-discipline.

I want to by crystal-clear. The only time either one of us will address your attendance or tardiness will be on the day your employment ends. Any questions?" He had none.

I remember the look of relief on my manager's face. She had been given permission to focus on her work and to let a member of her team fulfill the most basic of job responsibilities. He failed, not her. But she needed to hear and to accept that his tardiness was not an important part of her job- her management of his performance in that regard was. Two weeks later we fulfilled our promise. He knew as soon as we called him in.

My point in this lesson is this: Not every issue needs your emotion, stress, and attention. If you've given support and training, but not seeing results, give yourself permission to manage the situation. Sometimes the right fix for an employee's performance is to replace them.

As leaders, yes we care about the well being and success of the team we build, but if a team member (a grown adult!) doesn't respect you, or themselves, enough to prioritize getting to work on time, they're not worthy of your leadership. At Tiffany, I had employees on my team who had been with the company 20 years. Took 3 buses to get to work. Never absent, never late, never an excuse. I would coach them on anything I thought they ever needed...because they made me and our team a priority.

Do you have an issue like this? If you need some help, or want to share your own success story, please reach out.